One Year Ago...

Wow!!  I can't believe it was one year ago today that we were a ball of nerves in an airport with our little backpacks ready trying to anticipate what we would need and how our new son and daughter would respond to us!  What a journey this has been for our entire family.  I can honestly say this has been one of the best and worst years of my life.  God has shown so much of His character in this one year of our lives.  I have learned that just because God calls you to do something doesn't mean it's going to be easy, in fact if He's calling you to do it, it probably means it's going to be something you can only do in His strength.  I have never experienced the desperate need for God that I did the first 2 months of Daniel and Lydia's arrival. I knew this was going to be a difficult transition, but nothing could prepare me for just how difficult it was going to be.  Our little ones were broken and wounded.  We had no idea what their history included and what baggage they were bringing to our family.  Daniel especially struggled to understand that we were not going to leave him.  We were not like the other experiences he had with people, especially women, that were closest to him.  I don't want to cast a negative light on his birth mom and foster mom, because I don't know what sacrifices they had to make for Daniel, but Daniel did not trust me and pushed me away continually.  Every attempt I made to bond and attach, he would push me away.  This is something we continue to struggle with but there is healing and God has taught me so much about His love for me, as I strive to show love to Daniel even when he doesn't show love to me.

As I think about where we were at this time last year, I can't believe where we are now.  Both Daniel and Lydia are an integral part of our family.  They make us laugh, cry, scream with frustration and melt with joy like their brothers and sister. They are in a good routine now and most days it's hard to remember life without them.  They love playing pretend, especially going to school like the big kids.  They are coloring pictures, doing puzzles, making train tracks, pretending to care for their babies, jumping on the bed and into all kinds of mischief including putting on my make up during a room time.  Daniel went from looking like a black cup of coffee to a coffee with creamer!  Not funny, but funny!  They have also expanded their TV show repertoire from just Barney to include Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood (Daniel says "I want to watch me") and Sesame Street, both of which are much more tolerable to watch with them!  They are learning at an alarming rate and observe everything.  I am always amazed at how aware they are of their surroundings, noticing everything! Daniel can recognize where we are going by the route we take and will let me know if he thinks I am going the wrong way because I didn't go the usual way. Lydia decided she was ready to wear underwear and in a day she was trained.  She is really going to go places with her determination!

You can certainly tell they come from a "warm" culture and by warm I mean that they love to interact with people.  Christmas was especially neat.  They understood what it was about so readily.  We talked about Jesus' birthday and they interacted with the nativity sets moving the characters around and naming them.  They had no idea they were supposed to get presents, so the focus was on Jesus the whole time.  We modified things as a family, focusing less on gifts and more on relationship and Jack said it was the best Christmas ever!   Daniel and Lydia love interacting with all of their cousins on both sides of the family.  You can tell they are feeling more and more secure with their place. They love adventure and want to try anything the other kids do.  They jumped right in the water of the swimming pool, road the inner tube behind the boat, jumped on the snowmobile and were pulled behind on a tube.  They went sledding in Michigan with their cousins and by the end Daniel was going down the hill by himself. We are amazed at their willingness to try different things and are so grateful for it!

We can see that they will always have some issues to process through with some rough times ahead, but we are confident that even at their most difficult times, God will be their strength and He will show Himself to them.  Lydia still thinks that every black person she encounters is from Congo and shouts it out wherever we are (kind of embarrassing in Wal Mart). Daniel still can't make a choice without going back and forth several times and this is usually at bedtime when we are exhausted and have no patience. 

I don't know what else to say.  Adoption is not for the faint of heart, it's really hard!  My body is constantly aching and I have a standing chiropractor appointment! I cry out to God on a daily basis for patience and strength.  While we are exhausted we have also had the privilege of watching a miracle unfold every day. Daniel and Lydia are a beautiful picture of redemption and even at it's most difficult times it's still worth it!  We love Daniel and Lydia more than we can say and they are ours...Mundingers to the end!

One of my friends sent me the link to Jen Hatmaker's blog and this entry hit me to the core because it gives such a clear picture of what life is really like after the airport.  If you are interested in reading it get ready to have a good laugh and cry....it's worth it!!

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/09/06/after-the-airport

The Family!!

Brothers

sisters!

Daniel

I did it!!

 

Daniel and Lydia re arranging the nativity set for the 20th time!

Lydia loves her Papa!

Following the stars to the nativity on Christmas morning!

Daniel finally has a book of his own to look through!!

Sally and Lydia ready to sled down the hill!

The little cousins at Meijer Gardens in front of the African Christmas tree.

More fun at Meijer Gardens with the cousins!

It's Official in Wisconsin!

Hi All
I know it's been a long time since I've posted anything.  I have thought many times about updating everyone but every time I sit down I feel like a vegetable and don't know what to say!  Well, this morning Jay took all the kids to church because I'm feeling a bit under the weather and I actually feel like I can put a few thoughts together.  I don't know what to do with all this quiet!

We are doing unbelievably well.  God has been so gracious to us.  Every concern I have had, He has provided for us way above my expectations!  Daniel and Lydia are amazing!  They have adjusted to everything we throw at them and go with the flow.  They have been sitting at baseball games and soccer games all summer like champs.  They absolutely love all their cousins and have to go through the whole list of them every night before bed.  Jay's sister and brother-in-law have a pool and live very close to us.  They have been so generous to share it with us.  We were wondering how Daniel and Lydia would react to swimming in a swimming pool and I anticipated a lot of fear and trepidation.  We put their swimsuits on and their water wings and Daniel watched all the big kids jump in so he jumped in right after them!  He copies everything they do! Both he and Lydia jump in the water, go under, kick and swim as if they have been doing it their whole lives.  We are so grateful for the patience of the older siblings and cousins.  They let them participate in whatever they are doing.  When they are playing a baseball game, they stop between innings to let Daniel hit the ball and run the bases and cheer him on the whole way.  I was also concerned about our boat.  Would they be afraid to go on it?  How would they react to being in the middle of a lake.  Again, nothing to worry about!!  The first day we went out, they donned their life jackets and when we stopped to swim they jumped right in off the back of the boat.  Daniel loves to go tubing with his big brothers and sister and Lydia tolerates it.  We have had more fun on the boat.  Everyone enjoys it from our 19 year old to our 2 year old!  It's a mini vacation for us.

We crack up every day with the new words or phrases or songs the littles will come up with.  As you know, Lydia loves to sing and her favorite CD is this old one with Bible verses put to music called Hide 'Em in Your Heart by Steve Green.  If you watch The Middle it sounds a lot like Rev. Tim Tom!  Anyway, she will sing those verses over and over in a medley form...one into the other.  Well, as much as we love God's Word, the rest of us are getting a little tired of listening to Rev. Tim Tom all the time in the car but whenever we put the radio or another cd on Lydia screams, "No!  Turn it on!!" We are hoping she starts to apply the verses soon.  Especially the one that says, "Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good". :-)   She has quite a strong will and lots of determination.  I know she will need it in life but we are really trying to channel into good!  She is a delight to our soul and keeps us on our toes and gives us something to laugh about every single day!

We had our court appearing last week to readopt Daniel and Lydia in the Untied States.  All of us were there.  Jase even drove down from Appleton and then drove right back.  What a trouper!  We really appreciated that.  It was a day to celebrate!  Now they have United States birth certificates.  We can check another thing off the box. 

We have had another big change in our life in the last few months.  Jay has taken a position with the company he worked for before.  We are so grateful for this new opportunity for him and grateful for how God provided it for us, but it does involve a considerable amount of travel.  When we first found out Jay would need to look for another job I began having severe anxiety about having to manage our crazy house alone if he had to travel.  I was wrapped up in fear and was praying that wouldn't be the case.  Sometimes we think God doesn't answer our prayer when it doesn't turn out the way we want it to, but what I have found is that God has met me and come alongside me while Jay is gone.  We are managing!  We miss him terribly but we are making it!  The older kids are a huge support and for the most part have joyful attitudes about it and we have an amazing support of family and friends that help out tremendously.  Again, why do I worry about things in the future so much?  God is already there and I can trust His plan for our family.

I don't know what else to say except this crazy life is the picture God gave me when we started this process.  It's nutty and 90% of the time I feel like I'm losing my mind, but it's so worth it!  One night I fell into bed next to Jay and told him how I don't remember what it's like to not feel tired and how I am exhausted when I fall into bed. His response has kept me going with a different mindset.  He told me that's how we should go to bed, with nothing left on the track.  When we're doing work for God's Kingdom we will feel tired, but it's a different kind of tired.  There's peace and joy in the midst of it and it makes us look forward to the day when we won't have to feel tired anymore.  But right now we need to run the bases hard and go diving into homeplate with dirt on our knees and in our fingernails and at the end of it all God will announce SAFE!  Well done! 

Here are some pictures of our summer!  Thank you all for your continued love, support and prayer!  God has blessed us so much through you!

 Daniel and Lydia's first Fourth of July!

 Daniel and Cassady at a family birthday party!

 Daniel got a Big Wheel for his birthday. He loves it!!

 We had a wonderful time with our family in MI.  Here's Maddie and Lydia!

 Mor Mor and Bumpa catch a hug from the littles!

 Most of the cousins at Meijer Gardens!

 The angry Momma statue with some angry kiddos!

 Family boating!

 Lydia has the death grip on the tube, but she did it!!

 Daniel can't get enough!

 Court day!

Our happy family!

Happy Mother's Day!!

What a Mother's Day it has been!!  We participated in our church's Parent Child Dedication today; publicly dedicating ourselves to raising Daniel and Lydia in a home that they will come to know Jesus personally and live for Him.  All of Jay's family was able to come and we taped it to show to my family when we see them soon :-)!  It was so special to have them all there and the joy Daniel and Lydia had seeing their cousins!  They love them so much and repeat their names over and over.  What a blessing it is for them to not only have an immediate family that loves them but an extended family on both sides that loves them so much.  They have a total of 20 1/2 cousins!! (My younger sister is expecting their third in September) We are also blessed to have so many families in our church that support and love us as well. After reflecting on the day, I was struck at all the support we have and all the love that Daniel and Lydia are experiencing from so many people.  As I was contemplating the day, I couldn't help but pause and pray for Daniel and Lydia's birth moms.  I don't know where they are or even if they are alive, but I can't help but feel that in some way I am stealing their blessing.  I get this incredible privilege to be called Daniel and Lydia's mom.  I get to listen to the giggles and watch them explore the world with awe.  I get to see them look for the pictures of Jesus in the Bible and say his name.  I get to see them blow bubbles and think it's incredible every time!  I get to experience the first morning hugs and hear them say "thank you, Mommy" when I hand them their food. There was a recent story from the BBC that stated the Congo as the worst place to be a mom due to the danger and malnourishment.  I can't imagine what their birth moms had to endure and the sacrifice they had to make to give our babies life.  I am so grateful for them wherever they are and want them to know that we don't take this privilege lightly.  These little ones are loved beyond measure!  We pray every day that they will be used to do great things for God's Kingdom!

We have entered into our busy season as a family, attending baseball, softball and soccer games as well as the occasional track meet.  Daniel and Lydia have taken it all in stride.  I usually pack a dinner for them to eat during the game and a few toys to play with.  Inevitably there are some wonderful kids hanging around the ball field watching one of their siblings and they play with Daniel and Lydia, keeping them occupied and wearing them out.  It is WONDERFUL!!  They love to be outside and will occupy themselves for hours.  Daniel loves balls of all kinds and is working on learning how to pedal.  Lydia loves to push her baby around in the stroller and drive around the Little Tykes truck.  They are both talking all the time now.  They know their colors, can count to 10, and have almost mastered their shapes.  We are also a part of  a wonderful playgroup every Tuesday morning.  It is a life line for me. Several of the moms also have adopted children so they are a great sounding board for me.  Daniel and Lydia really love their little friends and say their names constantly.  What's cool is that they get to see them on Sunday morning too, which makes them love going to church!

Daniel is now potty trained....YEAH!!!  and Lydia loves to sit on the potty pot and once in a while she surprises herself and does something.  She is so funny because she squeels in delight and kicks her legs.  Now if she could just figure out how it happens!  Healthwise both kids are doing well.  Daniel's liver counts are improving, which means his liver is repairing itself.  He has grown over three inches since he's been home and has already on his third pair of shoes.  He's jumped two sizes in clothes too.  I can hardly keep up!  Lydia is growing like crazy as well.  It is amazing what love and good nutrition can do.  It's like their bodies were just waiting to grow.

Please pray for the mothers in the Congo trying to do the best they can for their children.  Also, we have been told by our agency that Congo adoptions are on hold due to a UNICEF investigation.  We are so grateful we got Daniel and Lydia home when we did as well as our dear friends the Loethers who were able to bring their son home a month after us. I can only imagine what the families are going through that have children waiting to come home. The wait is so long as it is, to add on an indefinite amount of time would be so difficult. There are so many orphans and children desperate for families in the Congo.  We pray this investigation takes a short amount of time!

Well, I hope you all had a great Mother's Day.  While I never imagined I would say this, I am overwhelmed at the blessing of having six children....and I am exhausted!  Good night!

Daniel's dedication verse: I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12-13

Lydia's dedication verse: The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.  He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.  Zephaniah 3:17

Happy Easter!!

What a special Easter this has been...our first as a family of 8.  We had a pretty wonderful day celebrating the resurrection of Jesus together.  I can't help but think of the picture the adoption of Daniel and Lydia is of our adoption into the family of God.  I especially look at Daniel when he first arrived.  He so wanted to accept our love but tested us at every turn to see if it was real.  He still tests us but we are pretty confident he is secure with his place in our family.  We are not going anywhere!!  Don't we do the same thing to God.  It is so hard for us to understand how much He loves us and that our inheritance is secure as His child.  We test Him and question His love.  What freedom it is when we finally let go of our insecurity and trust Him as our father!

Now that we can tell attachment is going well, we have started to implement some sleep training.  We set up beds for both of them instead of mattresses on the floor and we are not laying with Daniel anymore.  He doesn't like it very much but we let him know how much we love him and he falls asleep within 20 minutes.  Lydia is out within minutes of hitting the bed.  She is always exhausted and ready to be put down.  It will be freeing to get this routine figured out so we can actually have someone else put them to bed and we can actually go out on a date!!

I know I've talked about my struggle with Daniel before.  We are connecting so much better now.  He still pushes my buttons but God has given me the ability to find joy in him.  Instead of focusing on what bugs me, I am looking for what makes me smile.  He likes things in order and will leave no door left open.  He tries to repeat just about everything we say now.  It's so cool to see the world open up before him.  Lydia still loves to sing.  Her song choice now is "This Old Man".  We are learning phrases now too.  I will say "How are you?" and they will say "How are you? Good, thank you!"  I will say, "What's your name?" and both will answer "name, Daniel"  I have to teach Lydia to say her name.  They associate their colors with Barney characters.  For instance, purple is Barney purple and yellow is BJ yellow and green is Baby Bop green.  We just need a character for red and blue! 

What a blessing this Easter has been!